I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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