so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
Randomize
