you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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