I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Randomize
