Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
I think I won the penis lottery.
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
