oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
