Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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