I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Randomize
