If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
Randomize
