around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
Randomize
