if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize
