so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
Randomize
