I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
My day in three words: secret purse cake
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
Randomize
