The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
Randomize
