Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
