yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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