awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
Randomize
