Why are handjobs necessary in class?
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
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