i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
Randomize
