I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Randomize
