Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Randomize
