I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
