This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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