there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Randomize
