I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Randomize
