I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
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