It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
worst night to have a conscience
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
