thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Randomize
