I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
