I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
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