I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
Randomize
