you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Randomize
