Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
tell your sister to shave her snatch
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
