I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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