come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize
