We won't sleep together?
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
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