Whoa Z and x make the same sound
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
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