This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
At least life still wants to fuck me.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Randomize
