no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
I made him laugh his dick is mine
You were trust falling into bushes
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
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