We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
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