Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
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