I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
