Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
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