Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
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