I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
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