wrigley field is MILF paradise
I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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