Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
