Do you still have your period?
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
Randomize
