we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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