Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
Randomize
