If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
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