You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Randomize
