You're so nebulous sometimes
I am in a vortex of obligation.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
Randomize
