Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize