summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
