Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
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