PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
this will be a night to untag.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
Randomize
