coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Randomize
