if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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