I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize
