yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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