Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
Randomize
